Whatever It Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face. It kills me that i hurt you this way. The worst part is that i didn't even know.
Now there's a million reasons for you to go. But if you can find a reason to stay,
I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around. I know what's at stake, i know that i've let you down. And if you give me a chance, Believe it, i can change i'll keep us together whatever it takes.
If we're gonna make this work, you gotta let me inside, even though it hurts. Don't hide the broken parts that i need to see. Like it or not, it's the way it's gotta be. You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me.
If you give me a chance and give me a break, I'll keep us together. I know you deserve much better.
Remember the time i told you the way that i felt and that I'd be lost without you and never find myself. Let's hold onto each other above everything else. Start over, start over.

Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. It's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it's not always that easy. It's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you're leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.
It's been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been ? But what of the man who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealously and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better or something better finds its way to us.

Remedy

If you could go back and change one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Or would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing, just one moment? One moment, that you've always wanted back.
Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to go back. In this case, just a few minutes.
Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when you let down a friend.
Some of us escape the pain of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because we're looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our own ways.
But, our biggest regrets are not for the things we did; but for the things we didn't do. Things we didn't say that could've save someone that we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way.

Breathe

Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special. Something like this. Life's funny sometimes; can push pretty hard like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back, like when your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone, like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back. Like i said, in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it 'pushing back'.
You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it. God, i love this game.
You ever heard the expression 'The best things in live are free'. Well that expression is true. Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.

To A New Love ...

You found me or i found you. I'm not quite sure which one is correct. But i'd rather believe if we were just two strangers who met by coincidence at an unexpectable moment. You started it with a gentle smile in the beginning. To be quite honest, i didn't actually like you. Well, physically, you're not even my type. Not the face, not the height, not the hair. Boy, you're far beyond my prince charming. But somehow, the lightning must have struck me the other day or Cupid and goddess of fortune is on your side. Because my cold heart has turned into a flame.
I was afraid of this feelings so i tried so hard to deny it. I thought it was unreal and over the time, i'll forget about it. I dread to think about what i might do next if i fall for you. I was so scared, i was so terrified. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. I was afraid to be vulnerable. And i was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. But i guess you're not much different from me. We both were hurted but i'm just too scared to admit it. It’s hard to fight the things that we’re afraid of. Sometimes we just need a little help.
The fear, it’s truly hard to lose somebody. I spent a lot of time searching for reasons or answers. But you can’t find what’s not there. It just happened and i've came to understand about it. People walk in and walk out of our life. No matter how good or bad they leave the impressions, they have taught us many things.
You made it so easy while a lot of guys out there were standing on a queue. You've won my heart. I have no idea about what you've done to me. I must have gone deeply insane.
Baby, i wanna tell you that i love your smell. I love the way you sniff like a little puppy. I love the way you grab my hands and placed it on your chest while you're driving. I love your silly jokes and the way you try to ease my mood. I love your intellegence. I love your curiosity. I love the way you kiss my forehead and hug me tight, right before you drop me off. It makes me feel sufficient, like nothing can take me away. At this point, i think i'm in love you.
You make me believe if it's okay to let myself to be happy because we never know how fleeting that happiness might be. You give me this courage, this brand new heart to love, believe and hope again. I don't know how long it's going to last but i do know that i'll keep you as long as you keep me in your heart. Sincerely, yours.

PS : Be careful with my heart. It's more fragile than you think.

Remorse

Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy, hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that is a tough one. Sometimes people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. We're all afraid of something. I was afraid, i was dying. But in the face of great despair, i had an epiphany..........What i have done is who i am. But what i have done is not who i will be. Its been nearly 10.000 hours, 18 months .......... Since i realized what i have done is not who i can be. Unburden yourself from the mistakes of the past. And when you do, your heart grows stronger, i should know. Mine was supposed to go out long time ago. But it doesn't mean that what you have done is forgotten and what you have done remembers.

So Long, Goodbye...

You told me to fight for you & i did. You never fought for me.
I thought i knew you, but i guess it's easier to see what we want until we are looking for the truth. I may not always know what i'm doing but i'll try to make things better and when i make a mistake, i'll face it.
I would've given you the world and welcomed you with open arms but you failed the test. And for that, you get nothing. For that, you are nothing.
I thought maybe we meant more to each other. I guess i was wrong.
When i needed you to stand by me, you blew me off, so i don't need you anymore.
I'm sorry but you don't know anything about my pain.
I'm not fragile because i'm a girl. I'm fragile because i'm human.
I'm letting go of the anger. And i'm letting go of you.
I can't wait around forever. Maybe, it's time to move on.
I want to believe in it all again. In music and art, faith and love, and i want to believe that i have made the right choices and that i am on the right path and that there is still time to fix the mistakes i have made. And i guess i want hope.
Let's face it. It's been a long time and we don't really know each other anymore.
You never gave me a real reason, you just walked away.

No Boundaries

There is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it's no love. You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say 'I love you because', for love has no cause, love comes from God.

Mystery

That nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be. You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know.

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable,

illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.





If you are kind,

people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.





If you are successful,

you will win some false friends and true enemies;

Succeed anyway.





If you are honest and frank,

people may cheat you;

Be honest anyway.





What you spend years building,

someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.





If you find serenity and happiness,

they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.





The good you do today,

people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.





Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.





You see, in the final analysis,

it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.



(Mother Teresa)

A letter to you

Dear you,

You came over on October when i started to think i'm sober. I thought we both were so over but i guess i was in a hangover. You told me you're moving on but it's an obvious sign that you still carry on. You're so into her, your world is all about her. I wish i could. I wanna help you out, tell you what it's all about. What i feel, what i need, how's it gonna be. But, you don't seem to understand or maybe you just try to pretend.
I know you love her. Love her like a diamond. Even she doesn't love you, you still foolishly in love with her. Everyone loved her. She is the perfect cuican diamond
She distinguished her beautiful. I am a humble walk with the wind and sand.
I am humble wandering. She pure her flawless. I have ways of the world I complex. She is a priceless diamond and i am worthless sand. She is the diamond I am sand.

Darling, they empathize. Looking through your bloodshot eyes. And i know you, you're so frustrated. Above we all become what we once hated. Be slight nobody can be that wise. So, what do you expect from me? To hold your head above the sea. And there are you even though you're bigger. Don't you know you've crossed my tiny figure? Anyway we're still so young and this isn't yet the day.You might be twenty five but in my mind i see you as one and five. You've got a degree in chinese philosophy. So you think you're cleverer than me. But i'm not just some drama queen. Coz it's where you're at not where you've been.

A Memory Lane

This is how the story went..
I met someone by accident. It blew me away. It was in the darkest of my days when you took my sorrow and you took my pain and buried them away. I wish i could lay down beside you when the day is done and wake up to your face against the morning sun. But like everything i've ever known, you disappear one day. So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away.
Drop me off at the parking lot. Put a kiss on top of my head. You watched me wave while i was in a deep grieve. No tears flowing, i hold my pride high. Then you went on home to your skyscrapers that you call home. I cried myself louder in the silence of sheer.
I woke up feeling heavy hearted. I'm going back to where i started. The morning rain and its rhythm. Although I wish that you were here. That same old road that brought me here. Everything will never be the same.

Dear G....

Hey there, G! By the time you read this, umm let me guess, you're sitting waiting for your plane or maybe you're resting your ass in your new dorm, gazing at your apple screen. haha *cheesy* Well umm, i don't have that much to say anyway or i'm sort of lost in words. I can't remember when was the first time we met, i have a short memory. It doesn't matter because i already feel so grateful that God has allowed me to have you as my best friend and we simply click and as time goes by we're growing tight. Don't you think we're just another version of Henry and Marcel? "There's a bond between us". (I wonder do you laugh when you imagine the way he said that)*grin* It's pretty hard to find someone like you (don't get too proud). My mind told me that it was some kind of accident that occured by chance. We may see some things differently but we have the same core values. To live life to the fullest, love the things we do and those around us and laugh even when times are hard or cry for silly things. For me it's a bliss, those moments will last forever like an old record we keep in our hearts. Now i would like to say i'm sorry, i can't make it to the airport before your departure tonight, sorry if i can't be there just to say goodbye, you know i'm sucks. Sorry if i just can't easily drop by just to meet you in person. I think even if i do, i'm afraid that won't be able to drop a tear, indeed i'll cry out loud, refuse to let you go (remember the other night right). Named it selfish, yes maybe i am. We both know that i'm not good with goodbyes, we're a total disaster for surprises and a perfect dork for being socially awkward. I've been sitting for the last 4 hours in front of my lappie yet i haven't finished this writing. So, since i can't made anything good enough for your surprise last week, i've prepared something which they'll probably hand it to you or not, depends on how good they've managed to do so. Oh again, don't expect that high, it was just a small thing, in case if you forget about us. If you can't read it well i guess it's your turn to find out the meaning :) You know, I actually talked to God several days ago. To be honest, i can't stop blaming Him for taking away my closest friend, again. I guess He's a maniac for separating me and my few best friends apart. You might think this is a little too much dramatic but it's just something like losing another vital part out of your body though i'm pretty sure i didn't meet you just for nothing. It's just that, i'm so not well prepared and ready for the run. But God knows i have to be brave enough, strong enough and see things with wide open mind . He told me it's not the end of the world so i decided to obtain a deep understanding of life, love and friendship. It will take some time but i know that i will be okay. I feel glad, excited that you're going to hit another continent in the next few hours. It's gonna be great to experience the new things. I wish you well, don't need a long time to adapt and blend in with new people and their culture. Must be fun though! Perhaps if God give me the opportunity in the future, we'll meet again :)(Let's just pray for that). Last one, thank you for all these times, for always be there, for the kindness, sweetness and bitterness. It means so much to me. I'm longing to see and feel those again with you. And uumm if you're not busy, maybe like having your spare time, suffer for homesick or need someone to talk to when things get complicated, make sure you text me or shake me on bbm, i'll be just around. Farewell, take care dear! Have a safe flight! Love you, G! XOXO *TOSS TO OUR GLITTERING FUTURE*