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March is going to end and by April i would have to face lots of important thing in my life. There're so much stuff running on my brain and i realized how much fear i got which i cannot possibly handle. Me myself don't even know how am i gonna face this. It seems so simple but in the same time even more complicated. It's not easy dealing with this kind of confusion. I'm having a big dilemma between my dream, what i want the most and what i have to sacrifice behind. I've been thinking so hard lately to figure a way to break this silence and hesitation. I'm asking God in my prayer for the path i'm going to walk down next. It takes more than nerves and guts to speak up what's really in me. God must knows what's my point about, i deeply wish HE would understand and open up a way to make it right. I have my own personal purpose, perhaps i can not mention but i know if it's the best way and right thing to do.
Oh Jes, i really need Your hand to take me get through this because i don't have a strenght to walk and decide things by my own. I don't have that courage, i'm clueless like a blind man trying to reach out the world. I tremendously wanna believe if everything is going to be fine but somehow there's still a voice whispering within me saying if this is not the exact moment to tell the truth and explain everything. I know i am strong enough but i just don't know how to convince myself. This is my only chance for lifetime, how am i supposed to let go? I must take it or i'll never have the same opportunity for the rest of my life. It may sounds a bit cliche or ridiculuos but this is it. I'm serious and i'll try my best to make it. I need God to go along this way, not just a luck.